New Topic–Not in My Kitchen

I think I need a new category for the blog, “Not in My Kitchen”.    There are so many questionable “food” items for sale these days and the way I shop, I do a pretty good job avoiding knowing about many of them, but this one landed directly in my mailbox this week thanks to Hormel and SmartSource Direct.  There was a picture of a chicken breast with some vegetables and a lemon wedge and it queried, “What makes this fabulous Lemon Pepper Chicken so quick and easy?”  Given the Hormel logo, I knew I wouldn’t think this was fabulous and I have no intention of eating it.  It is apparently one of the new “Hormel Fresh Pantry Meats.”  It boasts that it is fresh meat.  Ummm.  Sure, the grocery store does stock it in the refrigerator section of the meat department.  It is “fridge friendly”.  Does anyone even know what the fock that means?  It is “perfectly seasoned” which I imagine is meant to imply that the home cook couldn’t even match this at home, so why try?  Two more little bubbles in their flowchart advise that all the prep is done and you don’t even have to touch it.  It comes with its own “nice neat” (and WASTEFUL) pan.   And now that saving money on food and “couponing” (when the fuck did that become a verb) are all the rage, they have sent me three coupons with staggered expiration dates and diminishing “savings”.  On one package, I could save $2.  I suppose that is their come on to see if they can make me feed it to my family.  Then I could save $2 on 2 packages and eventually, I could save $3 on 4 packages.  Ummm.  No thanks.  How can I pass up this opportunity to save $7?  Well, I don’t think I’d actually be saving anything since this is not a product that I would buy.  Hormel doesn’t provide nutrition information on their site, but does provide a customer service number to call for information.  Luckily, the information is just a google away.  The amount of sodium contained in this product is impressive.    This product fails in many ways.  The packaging is expensive and wasteful.  They processed in a way that “adds value” which of course the manufacturer and the stores just love since this fairly cheap processing vastly increases what they can charge for this product vs. what they could charge for plain boneless skinless chicken breasts.  I can only imagine that these chicken breasts come from factory farmed chickens raised in close confinement  shot full of antibiotics  and hormones in life just like they are shot full of saline in death.  Just a few more reasons why the meat in my kitchen hasn’t come from the grocery store in over a year.  Give me a pastured whole or cut up chicken straight from the farmer any day.  I can make quite a few meals with that bird.  That “expensive” chicken might even end up costing me less than a package of two of these breasts once the cost per meal has been figured.

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